Regulation Is Not One Thing: A Practical Framework for Supporting Kids

When kids struggle with behavior, attention, or emotions, the mistake adults make is jumping straight to consequences or coping “skills.” Regulation doesn’t start in the thinking brain. It begins in the body and in relationships. Cognition comes last. Teachers, parents, and caregivers can follow the Neurosequential framework to help support kids and teens where they are.

This framework breaks regulation into four domains: Somatosensory, Relational, Self-Regulation, and Cognitive.

All four matter. The order matters more.

1. Somatosensory Interventions: Regulate the Body First

If the nervous system is dysregulated, nothing else works. These interventions target sensory input, muscle activation, and rhythm to calm or organize the brain.

Some Somatosensory supports to try include:

• Blowing bubbles

• Stress balls, Play-Doh

• Weighted items (stuffed animals, blankets, balls)

• Body socks

• Sensory tools, fidgets, squeeze balls

• Water play

• Healing touch, massage, brushing

• Thera-band

• Wiggling, flexible seating

• Crossing the midline (snap-clap-snap, stretches)

• Drumming

• Animal interaction (grooming, petting)

• Swimming

• Yoga

• Music and movement, dancing

• Rocking, swinging, jumping, trampoline

• Sucking, humming, singing, chewing

Regulation is physical before it’s behavioral.

2. Relational Interventions: Regulation Is Co-Regulation

Kids borrow calm from adults before they can create it themselves. Relationship is the intervention.

Relational supports include:

• Parallel interaction or activity with an adult

• Parallel activity with peers

• One-on-one support

• Hug, high five, pat on the back

• Hugging a stuffed animal or baby doll

• Music and movement (dyads or groups)

• Art with adults or peers

• Small group play

• Animal-assisted activities

• Cooking or baking with others

• Youth groups

• Sports

• Mentorship

• Boys & Girls Club

• Church, community center, library, or after-school programs

• Social and family support

  
  

 Connection regulates faster than correction. Always.

3. Self-Regulation Skills: Building Capacity Over Time

Once the body is calmer and relationships are safe, kids can start practicing self-regulation skills. These take repetition and patience.

Self-regulation supports include:

• Guided imagery or safe place visualization

• Yoga

• Music and movement

• Dancing

• Reading

• Walking, running, exercise

• Journaling

• Writing letters

• Creative arts (drawing, coloring)

• Animal care (walking, playing)

• Gardening, yard work, chores

• Fine motor activities (beading, sorting, OT tasks)

  
  

 Self-regulation is learned, and it takes practice when the person is calm.

4. Cognitive Interventions: Thinking Comes Last

Cognitive strategies only work when the nervous system is already regulated. Using these too early is why they “don’t work.”

Cognitive supports include:

• Music lessons or performance

• Art discussion and interpretation

• Creative writing, drama, storytelling

• Cooking while following recipes

• Games and puzzles

• Speech and language therapy

• Academic work (reading, math)

• Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

• EMDR reprocessing

• Insight-oriented psychotherapy

• Family therapy

• Psychoeducation

  
  

You can’t reason a child into regulation. You regulate them first, then you teach.